How responsible are we for our aging parents?
In this busy and stressful modern world, many families already struggle to meet their own needs and may be working multiple jobs or going without. At the same time, even those of us who do have the money we need often struggle with time and energy on a daily basis.
So, how do aging parents fit into this equation? Well, for many people they don’t. Often, people simply feel that they do not have the resources to care for an aging parent, regardless of the situation.
In some ways, this is an outcome of our society. For example, Chinese society places high value on the need to care for one’s parents, to the extent that not doing so is sometimes even viewed as a crime.
That same value system isn’t present in Western society.
Without a doubt, we do care about our parents and their welfare but many people are not willing to give up parts of their own lifestyle to make sure their parent is safe and cared for. This pattern is one reason why elderly parents often get bounced from one sibling to the next, because no one is willing to care for them full-time or to find an effective solution.
In fairness, finding a solution for elderly parents is never easy but it is something that needs to be done.
In some cases, a senior may be perfectly capable of living alone but they may need help to decrease their living costs or to find affordable housing. However, in other cases, the solution may be more complicated.
For example, if your parent is unable to safely live by themselves, you may have to consider alternatives like assisted living or having them living with you.
Now, many people don’t like the idea of moving into an environment like a nursing home, especially as it represents a loss of independence. Because of this, elderly parents will often be stubborn about making this move, especially if it is debatable about whether or not they can safely live on their own.
In some situations, you may simply not have the power to change their mind.
This pattern is one reason why people end up caring for elderly parents within their home. Doing so allows the senior to live within a home-like environment and also be close to friends and family. The arrangement can even offer advantages to the rest of the family, as many seniors are able and willing to help out with some housework and tasks like babysitting.
However, at the same time, living with a senior parent can be a challenging situation and one that tends to fray people’s nerves. One reason for this is simply differences in opinion and personality, which can become more pronounced as time goes on.
Another reason is that seniors can be stubborn, especially when it comes to their own needs. Caring for stubborn aging parents is no easy task, especially in cases where the senior is also experiencing issues with memory loss or even paranoia.
Often, it is possible to work around these issues with caring and understanding – along with a large dose of patience. But, at the same time, there are certainly cases where having an elderly parent living at the home simply isn’t practical or healthy for the family or for the senior.
So, what does all of this mean?
Well, it reinforces what many people already know – that there are no simple solutions.
Additionally, the precise solution is going to vary dramatically depending on the resources that are available and the individual people.
However, the reality of the matter is that our parents are people who need our respect and our support, especially as they age. Finding a solution that is going to meet their needs may not be easy but that doesn’t make doing so any less necessary.
Instead, it truly is important to consider what approaches can be used to support our parents and make sure they are safe and happy as they age. Maybe the solution lies in opening up your home for a time or maybe it lies elsewhere.
For those struggling with this situation, perhaps the first approach is to sit down and simply consider the options at hand, along with which ones could work and which ones are not viable.
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